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HIV testing campaign starts in city
Related to country: Kenya

Translations available in: English (original) | French | Spanish | Italian | German | Portuguese | Swedish | Russian | Dutch | Arabic

Story by NATION Correspondent
Publication Date: 11/26/2007

Scores of youths and church leaders Sunday kicked off this year’s national HIV testing and counselling week.

The Rev David Sawe, the provost of All Saints Cathedral, led the clergy in the testing and counselling campaign.

During the launch, National Aids Control Council director Alloys Orago said only two million Kenyans have undergone the HIV test. He said that the event was aimed at encouraging wananchi to know their status.

The launch will be followed today by public HIV testing of private sector business leaders at KICC.

November 27, 2007 | 8:11 AM Comments  0 comments

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Why the West must protect Africa against harm from climate change
Translations available in: English (original) | French | Spanish | Italian | German | Portuguese | Swedish | Russian | Dutch | Arabic

Publication Date: 11/27/2007

The world’s richest countries, which have contributed by far the most to the climatic changes linked to global warming, are already spending billions of dollars to limit their own risks from its worst consequences.

But despite long-standing treaties to help poor countries deal with warming, these industrial powers are spending just tens of millions of dollars on ways to limit climate and coastal hazards in the world’s most vulnerable regions — most of them close to the equator and overwhelmingly poor.

Two-thirds of the atmospheric build-up of carbon dioxide, a heat-trapping greenhouse gas that can persist in the air for centuries, has come in nearly equal proportions from the US and Western European countries.

Those and other wealthy nations are investing in windmill-powered plants that turn sea water to drinking water, in flood barriers and floatable homes, and in grains and soy beans genetically altered to flourish even in a drought.

In contrast, Africa accounts for less than three per cent of the global emissions of carbon dioxide from fuel burning since 1900, yet its 840 million people face some of the biggest risks from drought and disrupted water supplies, according to new scientific assessments.

As the oceans swell with water from melting ice sheets, it is the crowded river deltas in southern Asia and Egypt, along with small island nations, that are most at risk.

“Like the sinking of the Titanic, catastrophes are not democratic,” said Henry I. Miller, a fellow with the Hoover Institution at Stanford University. “A much higher fraction of passengers from the cheaper decks were lost. We’ll see the same phenomenon with global warming.”

Those in harm’s way are beginning to speak out. “We have a message here to tell these countries, that you are causing aggression to us by causing global warming,” President Yoweri Museveni of Uganda said at the just concluded Commonwealth Heads of Government summit in Kampala, Uganda.

Scientists say it has become increasingly clear that worldwide precipitation is shifting away from the equator and toward the poles. That will nourish crops in warming regions like Canada and Siberia, while parching countries in sub-Saharan Africa, which are already prone to drought.

While rich countries are hardly immune from drought and flooding, their wealth will largely insulate them from harm, at least for the next generation or two.

Cities in Texas, California and Australia are already building or planning desalination plants, for example. And federal studies have shown that desalination can work far from the sea, purifying water from brackish aquifers deep in the ground.

There are some hints that wealthier countries are beginning to shift their focus toward fostering adaptation to warming outside their own borders.

Relief organisations, foreseeing a world of worsening climate-driven disasters, are turning some of their attention toward projects like expanding mangrove forests as a buffer against storm surges, planting trees on slopes to prevent landslides, or building shelters on high ground.

Some officials from the US, Britain and Japan say foreign-aid spending can be directed at easing the risks from climate change.

Industrialised countries bound by the Kyoto Protocol project that millions of dollars will soon flow via that treaty into a climate adaptation fund.

November 27, 2007 | 7:37 AM Comments  0 comments

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A Day In The Life Of A Superhero

6:45 a.m.: Alarm clock rings. Stay in bed with the blanket over my head, but as always, force myself to get up. The ringing is getting on my nerves now, so I slam the clock. However, I forget about my superhuman strength yet again, and accidentally leave a crater on the top of my cabinet. On to do list: Buy new clock.

7:30 a.m.: Traffic jam. Been stuck in the same area for over 15 minutes, so I begin contemplating whether or not I should just lift my 1998 Pontiac Bonneville and run through the tunnel, then remember my license plate says SUPRH3R0, so it is too easy to track me down. Continue waiting in car.

8:15 a.m.: The ravages of not getting laid for five months begin to take a toll. Spot Leslie in the office with a short skirt and her long silky blonde hair. Reluctantly use my X-ray vision, then saw the true reason why Leslie can be a female or male name. Note to self: Never use X-ray vision again.

10:15 a.m.: Telemarketing is one of the most demoralizing jobs in the world. Earl broke out in tears after the same woman hung up on him twice, turns out it was his ex-wife and he just wanted to check up on her, but he heard another man's voice in the background with a German accent saying "You red-dy for more, yah??". Gave him a pat on the back... but underestimated my strength yet again. Earl flies headfirst into a wall 20 feet away causing a loud thud. Walk away whistling.

12:30 p.m.: Lunch break. Had a panini.

1:30 p.m.: Resume working, but the panini begins to take its toll. Spend 15 minutes in the bathroom, releasing some of the loudest noises I've ever heard in my life. Fellow co-workers smirk at me when I walk outside. Begin contemplating whether or not I should tell them I was the reason why Earl was sent to the hospital.

4:00 p.m.: Paper jam at the copier. Stupid Xerox. Ask Mandy for help, and learn how to get the paper out. However, the copier still refuses to work, so naturally, I become very angry. Now I owe the company a new copier.

4:30 p.m.: Meeting in the conference room. Very boring, so I doze off. When I come to, all my co-workers are staring at me strangely. Turns out my snoring broke a few glasses.

6:00 p.m.: Walking home, some kids who were playing baseball in the park hit the ball over the fence. I throw the ball back, but it flies 250 feet and hits a car. I run away when they demand reimbursement.

6:04 p.m.: Ran away from the owner of the car demanding reimbursement.

7:00 p.m.: Spot a cat outside who won't get down from a tree. Note to self: climbing a tree and retrieving the cat is a much safer and effective way than punching a tree and having it uprooted and fly six feet away with the cat falling into the sewer.

8:00 p.m.: Jog in Central Park. Spot an attractive woman who gives me a wink as she jogs by the opposite way. Used X-ray vision. Oh yeah.

9:00 p.m.: Dinner, avoided a panini and had tortellini instead.

11:00 p.m.: Crawl into bed.

November 19, 2007 | 5:12 AM Comments  0 comments

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If you love the Lord.....

The other day I went to the local religious book store and I saw a "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my car, and I'm really glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed!

I was stopped at the light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord, and didn't notice that the light had changed. That bumper sticker really worked! I found lots of people who love Jesus. Why, the guy behind me started to honk like crazy. He must really love the Lord because pretty soon, he leaned out his window and yelled, "Jesus Christ!" as loud as he could. It was like a football game with him shouting, "Go Jesus Christ, Go!"

Everyone else started honking, too, so I leaned out my window and waved and smiled to all of those loving people. There must have been a guy from Florida back there because I could hear him yelling something about a sunny beach, and saw him waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my two kids what that meant. They kind of squirmed, looked at each other, giggled and told me that it was the Hawaiian good luck sign. So, I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back.

Several cars behind, a very nice man stepped out of his car and yelled something. I couldn't hear him very well, but it sounded like, "Mother trucker," or "Mother's from there." Maybe he was from Florida, too. He must really love the Lord.

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and were walking toward me. I bet they wanted to pray, but just then I noticed that the light had changed to yellow, and stepped on the gas. And it's a good thing I did because I was the only driver to get across the intersection. I looked back at them standing there. I leaned way out the window, gave them a big smile and held up the Hawaiian good luck sign as I drove away.

November 19, 2007 | 5:08 AM Comments  0 comments

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Letter of Recommendation

Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
finishes given assignments on time. Often, Bob takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
breaks. Bob is an individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be
classified as a high-caliber employee, the type that cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
executed as soon as possible.

Regards,
Project Leader

KEEP READING...

Shortly thereafter, the HR department received the following memo from the Project Leader:

Sorry, but that idiot was reading over my shoulder while I wrote the report sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the odd numbered lines for my assessment.

Regards,
Project Leader

November 19, 2007 | 4:47 AM Comments  0 comments

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